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Creating And Reading Nonverbal Communication
July 29th, 2005
Most of our clients are in the image business and must meet with clients to present themselves in a positive manner. ex. sales professionals, lawyers, politicians, entertainment industry professionals.
Because of this face to face contact with clients, it is necessary to understand how non verbal communication helps to build rapport and gain trust. This week's column relates to creating good first impressions and building rapport using nonverbal communication.
Creating Impressions -
People judge books by their covers; they also decide whether they like other people within the first few moments of meeting them. Because a positive first impression is absolutely essential in business relationships, business professionals should not only present themselves with a neat and professional mode of dress, but also use open body language to build rapport. Body language (a combination of tone of voice, posture and movement) makes up 70% of everyday communication. Non-verbal communication is very important as it is a more accurate reflection of the feelings of a person than verbal communication.
It is suggested that a person who wants to build positive rapport with a person use an open body posture. This includes exposing the palms, keeping legs uncrossed and leaving arms unfolded. Closed body posture consists of the opposite: the body is turned away, legs are crossed and the arms are folded.
You can also build rapport and harmony with a person by matching and mirroring the prospect's gestures. "Matching and mirroring," is unconscious mimicry. It is a way of subconsciously telling others that you like them and agree with them. Take note next time you are at a social event. Notice how people match one another subconsciously. People who disagree mismatch their gestures and other body language traits.
You can build trust and rapport by deliberately, but subtly, matching the body language of your client in the first ten to fifteen minutes of a meeting. For example, if you notice that your prospect has crossed his or her arms, subtly cross your arms to match them. After you believe you have developed trust and rapport, verify it by uncrossing your arms and see if your prospect will match and mirror you as you move into a more open posture.
When a person is subconsciously matching your body language, trust and rapport have been developed. Mismatches in body language show that they haven't been established; further matching and mirroring is needed. Be wary of taking gestures out of context. You should evaluate people on gesture clusters rather than a single movement.
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The Basics
Having described open and closed body language, I mention another category: forward and back body positions. The primary combinations are outlined below.
- Leaning back / being closed suggests a lack of interest
- Leaning back / being open hints that the prospect has cautious interest
- Leaning forward / being closed implies that there may be potential aggressive behavior.
- Leaning forward / being open shows that the prospect has interest and is in agreement.
Reading the face
People's faces are expressive. Body language basics are outlined below.
- A neutrally positioned head suggests the prospect has an open and neutral attitude.
- A head that is tilted back is a sign that the person has a superior attitude.
- A head that is tilted down insinuates that the person's attitude is judgmental and negative
- If the person's head is tilted to either side, it implies that the prospect is interested
- Does the person rub their eyes or use their hand to block their mouth? These gestures imply deceit, as they mimic a "see no evil/speak no evil" stance
- A person who rolls their eyes is indicating that they feel superior to you; it's a dismissive gesture. If they look at you over the top of their glasses, they are displaying a critical attitude and is scrutinizing what they see.
- If the person is stroking their chin, they are making a decision, but placing the thumb under the chin while pointing the index finger vertically up the cheek suggest that the prospect is having a negative attitude and has a critical judgement.
As a business professional you must continuously monitor your prospect's body language and adjust your presentation accordingly. By knowing the body gestures of the person that you are speaking to you will be able to better control the situation.
Action exercises -
The following are exercises will help you gain control of a meeting and present a positive image to build rapport.
- Review the outlined points prior to meeting with a client
- Identify the three gestures you use most commonly; work to eliminate those that intimidate or have a negative connotation.
- Mentally note the prospect's three most used body gestures during a meeting
- Practice matching and mirroring the gestures of your associates, family members or friends before doing so with business prospects.
- Source - For more reading on the subject -- -"How to Read Your Prospect Like a Book" by John Boe for zeromillion.com
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